Home is Where the Heart Is

When you grow up in a football family, you come to realize very early on that you live the life of a nomad, never able to attach yourself to one place or home. My standard answer when people ask me where I'm from is "everywhere". As I was growing up, we moved 6 times from state to state and since I graduated from high school, my family has called another 4 states "home". My mother was a pro at packing, unpacking, decorating, and organizing and made every move exciting for us kids with little road trips and excursions to acquaint us with our new surroundings. While we loved everywhere we lived, we were never able to stay for more than 5 years. We didn't get attached to people or places; knowing all along that we'd be picking up and leaving soon. I always envied my friends and family members that were able to stay in the same home and keep the same friends for their entire lives. But, on the flip side, our moves made us more flexible and taught us that houses are really just bricks and mortar full of possessions and when we have to leave them, our love and family turn houses into homes somewhere else.

After 4+ years of being on the market, our house in Colorado is finally under contract. I knew it was coming eventually, and after three showings with the same family in a week, I knew the phone call from my mom today was going to deliver some bad news. As now I begin the frenzied search for a place to live by April (add that to my already heaping plate of wedding planning, foundation work, tutoring, and my job!), I can't help but look around at the space that I've called home for so long and be heartbroken that this time has come. When my dad accepted his coordinating position with the Titans for the second time and my parents moved back to Nashville, I agreed to move into their home to keep it clean and watch over it while it was on the market. I could have never predicted that, 5 years later, I'd still be sitting in the living room remembering all the memories that have filled this massive home.

Throughout the 9,000 square feet are scattered memories of parties with great friends, wedding and baby showers thrown, a German Oktoberfest to celebrate my dad's birthday, fireworks in the driveway, Poms Christmas taco bars, and Brian's graduation party that lasted into the early morning hours. There's the time I sat at the kitchen table the day before Thanksgiving, surrounded by love with tears streaming down my face, unable to believe the news that had just been delivered to me. There are the s'mores cooked in the fire pit, days laying out by and cooling off in the water feature, football Sundays spent being lazy on the couch in the basement, Christmas cookies baking, and nights spent grilling out, listening to music, and dancing around the kitchen island. There are visits to the house as it was being built, memories of my parents choosing the perfect granite, light fixtures, and wood to finish off their dream house. There are family snow shoveling days, visits from out-of-town friends and the last conversation I ever had with my dad while sitting on the porch overlooking the mountains. There's the laughter and the tears and the memories that will never go away. I will carry them with me for the rest of my life, regardless of where I may hang my hat.

Now, I embark on a new journey...one that will allow Tim and I to make memories of our own in a new house that belongs to both of us. There will be our new family, our new laughter and our new tears to fill the space inside the brick and mortar that we choose together. It's exciting to write this new chapter in my life with him by my side. But, if it's true that home is where your heart is, then I guess a little part of me will always consider 1072 E. Michener Way a little more than the stone, concrete, and possessions that fill it- it will always be home.

Wedding Planning!

Last June, our Foundation ran a very successful and very fun golf tournament and silent auction that we planned and pulled off in just 7 months. I thought that was a lot of work to put together... then I got engaged.

For anyone who has ever planned a wedding, you know that it is almost a full time job. My head is swimming every day with save-the-dates, engagement pictures, guest lists, flower options, food options, venue options, decoration options, dress options, accessory options, invitation options, options, options, options! Thank goodness for my mother who is flying back once a month to help me put some of the pieces in place and check major things off my list!

For now, these are some of the things I have checked off that I'm most excited about:

Bridesmaids! 
I am so blessed to have 6 amazing bridesmaids that will be with me on our big day! These girls have seen me though some of my best and some of my most difficult times. Without a doubt, I would not be who I am today without the love, laughs and support these girls have given me in the last 9 years!

To ask them to share in our day, I pulled an idea (read: stole) from Pinterest and an amazing blog, Rinse Repeat.  My bridesmaids are some of the most important people in the world to me so I wanted them to feel as wonderful as they are! I painted cigar boxes from Michaels in our wedding colors and put some goodies inside each box for each of the girls. Included were: individualized picture albums of me with each of the girls, info about the wedding location, date, etc, and a gift card to put toward their expenses since all but 2 will have to travel! They turned out so darn cute!

The goodies inside!

Wedding Day Info.

Mini Photo Albums

Dresses! 
Once all the girls said yes, we had to find a dress that would make them all feel beautiful! Thankfully Nordstrom came through with this beautiful Jenny Yoo dress.  The best part is that it can be worn in 15 different ways so each girl can choose what style looks best on her- or change the style every hour to have a different look! We chose it in purple, which definitely looks better than the color in the picture!

Flower Girls!
We have two of the cutest flower girls in the world! They are both daughters of Tim's great friends from high school and college and we are so blessed to have them joining us. Although my mother is opposed to them wearing white, I just had to have them in this sweet little dress from My Girl Dress. They will be so pretty- I can't wait to see them all dolled up!

Venue!
We looked at several different places to hold our wedding and finally settled on the golf course that my Dad had deemed one of the most beautiful courses he'd ever played on. That is a big statement for someone who played Pebble Beach and Augusta! So, after seeing the beautiful scenery of The Sanctuary Golf Course for ourselves, we were sold. It also didn't hurt that the backdrop for our ceremony is Pikes Peak- where we got engaged. This venue is a little slice of heaven and really brings the mountains a little closer to home. It's also a huge plus that the staff has been AMAZING to work with this entire time!

I've also checked off my dress (but you can't see it yet), the hotels for everyone to stay at (but that's boring to show), save-the-dates (mailed out!), registry, ceremony and reception music, food tasting, flowers, and invitations! So much more to plan and take care of but hopefully, as we get closer, all the pieces will fall into place. I can't wait for our big day to get here- less than 160 days to go! 

Cleansing away 2012

Last year, I started off 2012 with a bang! I was sick and tired of being sick and tired and I needed a change, in a big way. So, I joined a boot camp that one of my friends had referred me to and ended up changing my eating habits, getting healthy, and losing 20 pounds in 3 months!

Fast forward to the start of 2013...A few too many dinners out with friends, glasses of wine, holiday munchies and cookies from the cookie exchange and those same 20 pounds that I lost have somehow found me again! With our wedding only 156 days to go (yikes!) and my wedding dress sitting lonely in the bridal shop because I know it won't fit yet, I need to cleanse away my bad habits once again and get back on the wagon! It's now or never.

So, I went yesterday and bought the best toy in the world- my Juiceman juicer! Honestly, the most fun $80.00 I've spent...I know, I'm strange. One stop at Whole Foods, an hour later and voila! I have 5 different juices for the next 3 days to complete my juice cleanse.

Why a juice cleanse you may ask? Well, according to Joel Odhner (who is the creator of Catalyst Cleanse juices and works with Dr. Oz):
"When you drink fresh juice it goes into the body and can assimilate much quicker, which in turn gives you more energy and feeds your cells exactly what they need in order to function optimally. At the same time, the juice helps the body eliminate toxins in a very efficient manner. When you flush with juice, you give your digestive system a break—kind of a mini-vacation. I recommend doing three to five days of juicing at a time; it’s a great way to “reset” your whole body, gain mental clarity, increase your energy and maybe (just maybe) lose a little weight."
So there you have it!  A 3 day cleanse will be the jump-start I need for my body to get back into the swing of things!

The basics of the cleanse are this:
Drink 5 different 16 oz servings of freshly-made juice throughout the day
Drink herbal tea (decaf) and lots of water
Drink 1 serving of Almond milk to add some necessary fats to your cleanse. 
Simple!  

So, I made 2 different fruit juices and 3 green juices to drink each day. All of the ingredients were organic and cleaned like crazy before juicing them. I decided to just purchase the Almond Milk rather than making it myself- not as raw because of the preservatives but I like the taste of 365 Brand (Whole Foods) and if I'm drinking it plain for 3 days, I need to like the taste.

The first drink of today was a green juice with the following ingredients:

½ small lemon

cilantro

handful of sprouts

1 cucumber

2 celery stalks

1 green apple

piece of ginger

4 kale leaves

The second was a fruit juice:

2-3 apples

8 carrots

1 inch ginger

This one was my favorite, by far! It was sweet and just like apple juice.  Plus carrots are SO good for you and sweet themselves so it was a good combo.

Then I did another green juice:

apple

kale

collard

lemon

Another fruit juice:

apple

orange

grapefruit

ginger

And the last green juice:

3 celery

1 cucumber

1 pear

1 green apple

handful sprouts

small handful spinach

slice of lemon

2 strawberries (I didn't have any because they're not in season)

Sound odd, I know, but honestly it tasted like cucumbers and was surprisingly refreshing! 

The only worry I had was that I'd be starving all day but the juices are really filling so I haven't been hungry yet! Ready to ring in 2013 and to get rid of those pesky 20 pounds again! Who wants to join me?! 

  

Pain, Pain Go Away!

So, for the last 10 years (at least) I have been living every day with severe jaw pain on both sides of my face. The pain was right under both of my ears and not quite on the jaw, like TMJ would be, but more in the muscles and tendons that connect the upper and lower jaws together. I'd say on a scale of 1-10 the pain is constantly around a 6 until I have the nerve to eat something and then it shoots right up to a 10 as soon as I take that first bite.  10 years of severe pain and not one answer from any of the practitioners that I visited to take care of the problem. Here's just a small snapshot of the journey I took to get an answer:

1) Saw a doctor to check for ear issues- She sent me to a dentist thinking it was TMJ that was causing the problem.
2) Saw my dentist- he made a $700 lower mouth guard for me to wear at night to help my TMJ.  He didn't listen when I told him that my nose doesn't work (a whole different problem!) and I don't clench my teeth at night because I breathe out of my mouth.
3) Maximized Living Chiropractor- thought my messed up neck was causing the problem.  $700 and several adjustments later...still in pain
4) Craniofacial Specialist- Thought I needed a $1100 upper mouth guard to protect my jaw from clenching at night. Again, failed to listen to me when I told him I don't clench my teeth. Also found a cyst in my nose that needed to be fixed which led me to...
5) ENT Doctor- Thought my jaw pain was from my body correcting itself to help me breathe better through my nose that doesn't work. Cyst was no big deal but told me I needed a procedure to scrape the insides of my nose to create more breathing room so I wouldn't try to continue correcting it. OUCH.

So, after all of these appointments I had officially given up and decided that I was going to just deal with the pain and live with it forever. Who needs to eat?!?

Then my mom told me about this practice called Nutrition Response Testing. My grandmother, aunt, and uncle had just completed several months with a NRT doctor and had seen amazing results for their issues using natural treatments and the body's own energy.  In order to find your body's weaknesses, the doctor places one hand on various parts of your body (where your brain, liver, heart, thyroid, etc. are) and uses the other hand to push down on your extended arm while you're laying down. If you can resist against them pushing down on you, then your body is strong in that area; if you can't then it's a weakness that needs to be corrected. (You can read more about this practice here.) Sounds nutso, right?!? I was VERY skeptical but I promised my mom that I would find a doctor that did this testing, and would follow through with the treatment (at least, if she paid for it!) so that I could see if it would work. I figured it would be better than wearing a mouth guard for the rest of my life or having surgery so I gave it a shot. But, because I was lucky enough to inherit my father's stubbornness, I was planning all along to not let that lady push my arm down!

At my appointment, I was tested for all different parts of my body. When she came to my jaw, thyroid, liver, kidneys, bladder, and heart, my arm literally felt like I had lost every muscle in them.  I was trying as hard as I could to resist against her and I just couldn't do it.  She easily pushed my arm to the table as if I weren't pushing back at all! So many weak areas- YIKES! The two areas that were the affected the worst were my jaw and thyroid so she then tested those areas for 5 main stressors- scars, food sensitivities, immune challenges, environmental stressors, metal stressors- to figure out what was causing this weakness. Well, she determined that I have a food sensitivity to gluten, wheat, grains and dairy....something I already knew. But the biggest revelation from the appointment was that my jaw was being weakened by high levels of nickel. I've heard of people having mercury and lead in their systems from dental work but I have perfect teeth and haven't ever needed a filling!  We brainstormed for a bit and then I remembered that after I had my braces removed in high school, the orthodontist had put in a permanent retainer to keep my top teeth in place. It wasn't one of those fancy retainers that come in different colors with glitter on them but was literally just a metal bar that was cemented to my teeth. Detective Alicia was about to get to the bottom of this 10+ year battle with my jaw!

So, in an effort to figure out if the bar was the problem, I contacted my childhood orthodontist and asked him what the bar was made from. He had to send the metal to the lab to get a report and, drum roll please....it was made mainly from nickel! I immediately made an appointment to get the bar removed and started taking a supplement to rid myself of the metal in my body.

My first NRT appointment was on September 8. I can now, just two and a half months later, finally say that my pain in my jaw is GONE completely!!!!!!!!!! The problem with the route I was trying to go was, modern doctors only treat current symptoms but have no idea what's going on inside your body until something pops up on their radar. And, they only treat the symptoms with the tools and the best knowledge that they have at that time, which often depends on their specialty. NRT tells you what parts of your body are struggling and why they are struggling and allows you the opportunity, through proper nutrition and all-natural supplements, to fix the issues BEFORE they blow up into major problems down the road! I had major amounts of nickel, gluten, and dairy building up in my system for years and my liver, bladder and kidneys were working overtime to try to get those toxins out but they weren't able to because I wasn't fixing the problem- just adding to it. Now that I've cleared my body of this heavy metal and been able to focus on eating proper foods, I not only feel better but I've most likely added years to my life because I've stopped forcing my organs to work harder than they need to.

If I hadn't gone through the process, I wouldn't have believed it myself but after 10+ years of pain and a million appointments with different answers and solutions from all of them, this alternative practice actually solved my issue without surgery, medication, or mouth guards! I'm telling you, find a doctor that provides Nutrition Response Testing in your area and RUN to their office to find out what's going on in your body!

ENGAGED!!!

3 years ago this month, Tim and I had our first date at an Avalanche game.  I was smitten immediately and was so excited when I realized that "the guy I love, loves me too!"  Throughout the last 3 years, we have been dealt some very difficult challenges; ones that most couples don't have to worry about for years into their lives together.  I knew he was the one I wanted by my side forever when we were able to face each set-back together and come out stronger every single time.  He is my best friend and I'm so blessed to be able to share my life with him. 

About 38 years ago, my dad showed up at my mom's house with an engagement ring tied to a single rose.  Yesterday, Tim honored my father by proposing to me in the same manner.  But, this time, instead of showing up at my house, we took a trip to the top of Pikes Peak in Colorado Springs and got engaged in one of the most beautiful spots I can think of!  Here's our story:

We have a tradition of planning a "stay-cation" each year to celebrate our anniversary.  Last year, I planned a fun trip to Aspen for us.  This year, we decided to celebrate a bit early and spend a weekend in Colorado Springs.  Our first stop was the Pikes Peak cog railway.

I was so nervous to take this train to the top of Pikes Peak (14,000+ feet high), because I distinctly remember my mother telling me how scary it was the last time she rode it.  There are times when the front of the train is literally 3 stories above the back!  But, after settling in to our hour and a half ride, I was really enjoying the scenery and the time that Tim and I had to just enjoy hanging out together.  When we arrived at the summit, we had about 30 minutes to get off the train, take in the beautiful scenery, and go to the restroom.  We hustled off the train, took a quick picture, and I ran to the restroom, only to find the usual 30-person line.  The only time that I wish I were a guy is when the women's restroom line is out the door and the guys just get to walk in and out in no time.  Seriously. 

When I finally finished and hunted Tim down outside, he wanted to take a picture with the amazing mountains behind us so he grabbed the nearest tourist and asked her to take our photo.  She did so without saying anything to us and then walked over to her husband...with our camera still in hand.  I remember thinking "What is this lady doing trying to steal our camera!"  and was so relieved when Tim went over to snatch it back from her.

When he turned around, he had a rose in hand with a ring tied to it and it was then that I realized that the crazy lady "stealing" our camera was actually Courtney, my best friend, whom I hadn't even recognized up until then.  Talk about a blonde moment!  Tim gave me an amazingly romantic speech that he had written, I started to cry, and he got down on one knee and popped the question!  Of course I said yes and we spent the last 10 minutes on the summit taking pictures with Courtney and Alex and celebrating.  I can't think of a more perfect proposal from a more perfect guy...can't wait for this new chapter in our lives together!!!

Celebrating with great friends!

Heading back down the mountain with my fiance!

The Coaching Gene

Coaching is a profession of love.
You can't coach people unless you love them.
-Eddie Robinson

I was born into a family of wonderful coaches.  You could say that coaching is in my blood.  My grandfather was a legendary athletic director and football coach in DeKalb, Illinois.  And, of course, I grew up watching my father in his coaching element.  From meager beginnings with the Johnsburg High School football program to earning 2 Superbowl rings, and coaching several quarterbacks to the Pro Bowl and MVP titles, he worked his way up the ladder by dedicating his life to the players he saw on the field.  I was blessed to receive his amazing coaching advice on more than one occasion, even when he didn't know anything about the sport I was competing in (figure skating?).  I received more than one trait from my father- his face, his temper, his sarcasm, his loyalty, his hair (thank goodness:-) but the one trait that I feel so blessed to have received is his love for and ability to coach.  

When I stepped into the commons at Rock Canyon High School 7 years ago as the new JV Poms coach, I had no idea where this coaching gene would take me.  I knew that I loved to dance.  I knew that I had some extra time and wanted to get involved.  I knew that I had LOVED every second of my time in high school poms.  But, when I told my athletic director that I'd dedicate 3 years to this program, I had no clue that I would double that, and love every minute of it.  Of course, there were rough times and lots of tears but I wouldn't change our 2 State Championships, consecutive appearances in finals at Nationals, and the numerous life-long relationships that we formed.  We cried, laughed, and grew together and I feel so very blessed that I had each and every one of those poms and their families in my life. 

 
Once we received information that my dad wasn't expected to live past December, I felt that I needed  to step away from coaching after 6 seasons with the program.  Last week I received a very touching email from our Foundation saying that a donation had been made by the Rock Canyon Poms team to our Drive 4 Dinger golf tournament.  As I read through the names of those that donated to this cause that is so near and dear to my heart, I literally broke down and cried right there in my car.  The truth is, when I walked away, I thought that would be the last time I would hear from the girls, the families, and the program that I had built and loved so much.  I was so wrong.  Coaching truly is a profession of love and I find it such a blessing that, somewhere in between the 2 minute routines, half time shows, and fundraisers, I was able to touch a few lives and create lasting relationships with so many amazing, giving people.  Coaches may not always get credit for their great accomplishments, but knowing that I'm still being supported by these families that I spent so much time with and cared about so much, is really all the validation that I need.

Now I know why my dad spent so many grueling days at the office.  He wasn't one for the glory or publicity and, at the beginning, he sure didn't do it for the money.  He did it for the players he coached and the relationships he built along the way.  I'm lucky to have been able to follow in his footsteps...I really learned from one of the best.

Thank you, RCHS Poms!  Your continued support and love is so appreciated!!!

Just Be

Thanks to mother nature, I've now been stuck inside the house 2 days.  It snowed again through the night and I think the total accumulation is around 26 inches now!  Since I also took the day off of school on Thursday to get myself over a mega-cold, it'd be a lie if I didn't say that I'm dying from having to be cooped up for so long.  I did attempt to venture out to see a movie last night and ended up getting stuck in the driveway on the way back...should've learned my lesson on that one the first 4 times that happened to me! So, today I'm just going to accept the fact that I am being forced to remain inside and use this time to just be.

Living in and growing up with an active, competitive family has sort of ingrained in me the need to constantly be busy.  We used to run from baseball practice to girl scouts, from ice skating lessons to soccer tournaments, from after-school musicals to CCD classes. (if you're catholic, you know all about those!)  Bless my mother for all the miles and hours that she spent in the car carting us around.  We were busy...that's the way we lived.  Sure, we made time for God on Sundays and during dinner prayers (on the rare occasion that we all were able to sit together for a meal), but we didn't have TIME to stop and realize that life was passing us by and we weren't really experiencing it in the way we should. 

Being part of a football family also causes you to constantly be looking for what's next.  There's no time to focus on the here-and-now and enjoy it.  There's always another game, or another connection to be made for another job promotion.  There's the next family move to the next city, the next season schedule, the next round of players, the next set of downs if the last one didn't turn out so hot, and who needs tickets to the next game.  There's no TIME to just enjoy the current moment with the current team and to realize all the greatness God has brought to our lives.  Throughout the years, we ended up forgetting that there were 7 days in every week- we lived for Saturdays when I was young and Sundays when I was older.  Every game of the season could determine if we'd remain in our home the following year or be forced to uproot our lives to yet another city.  We stopped experiencing all the goodness that fell between the games.

Now that I'm older, I realize that I'm falling into the same pattern.  Up until this year, I worked two jobs- one as a full-time teacher, and one as a part-time poms coach.  I ran everyday from work to practice and I lived my life focusing on practices, games, competitions, and pep-rallies.  I loved every minute of coaching but I had little, if no TIME to just be and to enjoy the ride.  I couldn't even enjoy the moment through 2 State championships and top 20 finishes at nationals- I was constantly thinking about the next year, the next dance, the next big move, the next team.  Once we received the devastating news last June that my dad wouldn't make it through the year, I chose to give up the hustle-and-bustle of life and left coaching in order to have more TIME.  But, true to form, I filled the empty moments with more stuff.  I went to dinners, drinks, and happy hour with friends.  I bought season tickets to the theatre.  I saw movies and went to the gym.  A great guy I know that got free tickets to every sporting event in town spent several nights with me at the Pepsi Center.  I started a non-profit with my family.  I should have realized that I had fallen back into my typical pattern of being constantly busy and looking for the next big thing when I couldn't even focus on a conversation with someone because my mind was going 1,000,000 miles an hour making to-do lists and planning.  

The one thing that this snow storm has made me do is stop and just be.  God has a funny way of showing us when we are moving too fast, cruising through life without looking at all the good we have, not living in the moment, and forgetting about what's important.  He often forces us to be still and to reconnect with ourselves, and HIM.  Reflecting on how I've literally run through my life so far has made me realize how important it is to just slow down and enjoy the ride.  The great experiences and milestones that will come next in life will come through faith and trust that today HE is preparing me for tomorrow's gifts.  Learning to be still means realizing that I don't have to be moving and busy all the time.  By taking a deep breath and just taking a second to be, I will learn to find happiness in the moment instead of waiting for it to come later on.  And today, on this crazy winter day, without television to entertain me, will be the first day of my life that I make an effort and take TIME to just be.