Friends

"It’s funny how you can still love a person, but you stop needing them like you used to. -Dawson's Creek.

When the show Dawson's Creek began, I was in high school. We didn't have cell phones yet, we had to *69 people to see who had called us,  and my family was so excited to get call waiting at our house so my hours on the phone wouldn't block others from calling in! Rather than texting at school, we would pass intricately folded notes to one another with details for the weekend, gossip from class, and a little acronym BFF signed at the bottom. Best Friends Forever. Those were the days. When you truly believed that you and your "Bestie" would stay close forever. (Just like you thought you'd still be with that guy you were dating senior year!) But friends change, people grow apart, and lives move on. As time passes and life evolves, so do the people in it.

I believe that people are brought into our lives to serve purposes...there's the friend that mentors you through your first job, the drinking buddy to serve as a wingman every night at the bars, your neighbor who trades days watching the kids, the life-long girlfriend who sits with you and cries while your heart is breaking, the girl who knows all the new fashions to help you pick out an outfit and shop-til-you-drop, the friend you go to all your sporting events with, the partner you started your business with, the lady who runs your book club or bible study...the list goes on and on. Each of these friends is brought to us because, at that time or sometime down the road, we will need them or they, us. Although the reason is not always clear, they are purposeful relationships, and like anything with purpose, they are useful... until they're not.  Once a friendship has served its purpose, it is natural for lives to move along down different paths. Not to say those people will always completely exit your life, but they will definitely take a giant leap back from their leading role.

Throughout my childhood, we moved several times. Not just from house to house but, most of the time, we trekked across the entire country and back again as job after job called my dad to a different sideline. (Ahh...the life of a football child.) At that young age, friendships are built out of convenience, if nothing more. We become friends with others that are located within walking distance of our house for play dates, those who are children of our parents' friends, or, as we grow into school age, those that are in our class. I have no friendships to this day that lasted throughout the years from this stage of my life. I would bet that not many of us do. Before the age of Facebook and cell phones, once we moved on to a new state, so did our relationships.

When my dad passed away, I remember my family realizing very quickly the futility of some friendships. People we had shared laughs with throughout the years suddenly dropped off the map or did little to try and help during our darkest days. At the time, coupled with all the other emotions we were feeling, we became hurt, confused, even angry.  With the blessing of hindsight, I now understand that during tough times some people just don't know HOW to handle it or WHAT to say. So, instead they often say and do nothing. As I get older (and wiser), I am beginning to realize that I care less about having friends in my life that will always rejoice with me, but prefer to surround myself with people that I know I can also count on in my hour of need. Life is tough. While there are friendships of varying degrees and purposes, I cherish those in my life that know what to say, what to do, and when it's time for no words at all. Those are true friends. Eventually, my family started focusing not on the friendships that were lost, but those that were gained from our experience. In our hour of need, we developed stronger bonds with people who had been in the background all along, and we nurtured new relationships with people brought to us by circumstance.

We all move into different phases of life- and with it, friendships ebb and flow. Some fall by the wayside to return again in the future, some strengthen, new ones develop, and others sever completely. They won't always be the same and nor should they be. Friendships that are lasting are the ones that easily, and sometimes naturally, adapt to all the changes life brings us- babies, marriages, divorces, deaths, moves, jobs and interests. It is those friendships that can withstand the test of time. I have only a handful of true friends but, knowing that I have people surrounding me now that I can count on for some good belly laughs and a good, cleaning cry, makes me feel beyond blessed.

We Made It!

Looking back at 2013, I realize that I have been a horrible blogger this year. Maybe my resolution in 2014 should be to keep up with my writing?? I can honestly say that 2013 was a roller coaster ride with some pretty amazing "ups" and some heart-wrenching "downs"...you'd think I'd be used to that after the last few years.  I'm more than ready to welcome in 2014 and see what new adventures will be brought our way! In the meantime, here is our year in review:

New Home:
As Tim and I began our life together, and were faced with the sale of my family's home, we had the great decision of whether we would like to purchase a home of our own or rent an apartment for a while to save money. After analyzing all the housing trends in Denver and looking at some seriously small shoebox apartments that cost more than our current mortgage, we chose (wisely) to look for a home of our own! SEVERAL showing appointments, sleepless nights, and headaches later and we were HOMEOWNERS!

We're Parker People

Now that we're all moved in, I have to say that I just LOVE LOVE LOVE our new home! Thanks to mom for all the beautiful hand-me-down decor and to my aunt for the amazing home-made curtains. With their love, it's made our house a home and a place that I look forward to coming back to every day.  Now if I could just find time to take care of all the projects I find on Pinterest...
 

Saying Goodbye:

The biggest down of our year came at the beginning of May, the day before we moved in. After a two year battle with cancer, we had to say good-bye to Tim's mom, Maricela. It's not every day you meet someone as strong, friendly, and inspirational as she was. No matter how much pain she was in, she always had a smile on her face, a kind word to speak to others, and a prayer to bless you. She fought long and hard, going through several surgeries before the "C" word finally took her. Selfishly, I wish every day that I had more time to get to know her as my mother-in-law and that she would be here to meet her grandchildren, but we know she is walking through every day with us and that she is in the most wonderful of places.

Our Wedding!
On June 7, I was beyond blessed to say "I Do" to the most amazing man. Our wedding was absolutely PERFECT and I know that both of our parents were watching down on us from the best seats in the house as we exchanged our vows, toasted with great friends, and danced the night away. I felt like a princess and, per everyone's advice, just tried to take in every last bit of the day. From the amazing views at the Sanctuary, to our Pinkberry and Bundt Cake desserts, not one detail was out of place and it makes me want to do it over, and over again! Rachel captured the night the best on her blog, A Sarti Party. Here are some of my favorite pictures!

The most beautiful Bridesmaids!

My beautiful dress!

My new family :-)

Walking down with my amazing grandfather

We're married!

Saying Goodbye Again:
Immediately after the wedding, we had to move my mom out of our family home. This event was met with many tears and emotion, as I captured with this post.

2nd Annual Drive 4 Dinger Golf Tournament
For the second year in a row, we were able to bring together some of our closest friends and family to celebrate the life of my father and the success of our foundation, The Heimerdinger Foundation. The weekend began with a silent and live auction and concluded with a beautiful day of golf at Legends, the course my dad basically lived on. We were able to raise almost $90,000 for our program and it was so wonderful to catch up with everyone and remember the person that was my father.

Honeymoon! 

After such an overwhelming month, Tim and I were ecstatic to spend our Honeymoon in Kauai, HI. We took off immediately after the golf tournament and spent an entire week with sun, sand, drinks, relaxation, and love! There was not one thing that we hated about the island (well...maybe the roosters that weren't clear when they were supposed to crow) and we absolutely cannot wait to get back again! Our favorite parts of the trip were the shaved ice the size of our heads and the beaches we had all to ourselves!  It was amazing and just what the doctor ordered!

Well, there you have it! It was one memorable year. Here's to 2014 and all the wonderful memories it will bring! Happy New Year!

Cooking with Meals 2 Heal

It all started with a cookbook full of cancer-fighting, immune system-boosting recipes that included foods I had never heard of like quinoa, kale, and chard. That cookbook, written by the Ceres Community Project, planted a seed that grew into a fully-functioning foundation in less than a year. In the pages of that book was written the story of a kitchen run by local teens in which nutritious foods are prepared and then delivered by angels to homes, free-of-charge to families fighting the biggest battle of their lives against cancer. We set out to replicate this program in Nashville and today I was able to finally experience the fruits of our labor.

Since its inception, I have worked tirelessly behind the scenes to make this foundation a success. I have redone the website, answered emails, made phone calls, signed on celebs, asked for auction items, updated forms and Facebook and basically done whatever I could from 1,000 miles away. All the while, little elves worked day-in and day-out in Nashville to set up a healing kitchen. Every phone call and text message kept me abreast of the daily happenings and I was able to feel as though I was walking the journey with them all. Like distant relatives, I've known of each and every person that has chosen to intertwine their lives with that of our Foundation. I've known their resumes, backgrounds, reasons for getting involved, interests, schedules, and life stories but, until today, they could have passed me in the street and I wouldn't have recognized their faces.

I couldn't believe the emotion that overwhelmed me when I stood in the pantry of our kitchen two days ago and looked at all the mason jars filled with grains, the freezer bursting with labeled containers of meats,  and all the pots and pans, mixers, and utensils that were donated by friends and family from all over the US. Every ounce of sweat and tears that have been shed over getting this kitchen up-and-running was completely worth it.

The feelings only got better as, today, I was able to see the kitchen in full operation.

Decked out in my hat and very own blue apron, 7 other busy volunteers and I sterilized more Snapware containers that I knew what to do with and chopped cranberries, walnuts, green beans, onions, kale, and squash for meals. I put faces to names and laughed with people who worked for 4 hours to lovingly prep food for 6 clients and their caretakers who are living the same hell we did two years ago. We began the day with a prayer and ended it with securing a new sponsor for our golf tournament and in all the hours spent in between, I learned more than how to properly clean mushrooms (don't wash them) or how to cut tomatoes without squishing them all over the counter (peel down).  I learned today that there is no greater joy than the feeling you get when you faithfully walk the path laid out for you, regardless of how difficult or scary, and you give freely of your time, talent, and treasure to better the world around you. It's truly amazing what we are able to accomplish together. And it all starts with just the seed of an idea.

Home is Where the Heart Is

When you grow up in a football family, you come to realize very early on that you live the life of a nomad, never able to attach yourself to one place or home. My standard answer when people ask me where I'm from is "everywhere". As I was growing up, we moved 6 times from state to state and since I graduated from high school, my family has called another 4 states "home". My mother was a pro at packing, unpacking, decorating, and organizing and made every move exciting for us kids with little road trips and excursions to acquaint us with our new surroundings. While we loved everywhere we lived, we were never able to stay for more than 5 years. We didn't get attached to people or places; knowing all along that we'd be picking up and leaving soon. I always envied my friends and family members that were able to stay in the same home and keep the same friends for their entire lives. But, on the flip side, our moves made us more flexible and taught us that houses are really just bricks and mortar full of possessions and when we have to leave them, our love and family turn houses into homes somewhere else.

After 4+ years of being on the market, our house in Colorado is finally under contract. I knew it was coming eventually, and after three showings with the same family in a week, I knew the phone call from my mom today was going to deliver some bad news. As now I begin the frenzied search for a place to live by April (add that to my already heaping plate of wedding planning, foundation work, tutoring, and my job!), I can't help but look around at the space that I've called home for so long and be heartbroken that this time has come. When my dad accepted his coordinating position with the Titans for the second time and my parents moved back to Nashville, I agreed to move into their home to keep it clean and watch over it while it was on the market. I could have never predicted that, 5 years later, I'd still be sitting in the living room remembering all the memories that have filled this massive home.

Throughout the 9,000 square feet are scattered memories of parties with great friends, wedding and baby showers thrown, a German Oktoberfest to celebrate my dad's birthday, fireworks in the driveway, Poms Christmas taco bars, and Brian's graduation party that lasted into the early morning hours. There's the time I sat at the kitchen table the day before Thanksgiving, surrounded by love with tears streaming down my face, unable to believe the news that had just been delivered to me. There are the s'mores cooked in the fire pit, days laying out by and cooling off in the water feature, football Sundays spent being lazy on the couch in the basement, Christmas cookies baking, and nights spent grilling out, listening to music, and dancing around the kitchen island. There are visits to the house as it was being built, memories of my parents choosing the perfect granite, light fixtures, and wood to finish off their dream house. There are family snow shoveling days, visits from out-of-town friends and the last conversation I ever had with my dad while sitting on the porch overlooking the mountains. There's the laughter and the tears and the memories that will never go away. I will carry them with me for the rest of my life, regardless of where I may hang my hat.

Now, I embark on a new journey...one that will allow Tim and I to make memories of our own in a new house that belongs to both of us. There will be our new family, our new laughter and our new tears to fill the space inside the brick and mortar that we choose together. It's exciting to write this new chapter in my life with him by my side. But, if it's true that home is where your heart is, then I guess a little part of me will always consider 1072 E. Michener Way a little more than the stone, concrete, and possessions that fill it- it will always be home.

Wedding Planning!

Last June, our Foundation ran a very successful and very fun golf tournament and silent auction that we planned and pulled off in just 7 months. I thought that was a lot of work to put together... then I got engaged.

For anyone who has ever planned a wedding, you know that it is almost a full time job. My head is swimming every day with save-the-dates, engagement pictures, guest lists, flower options, food options, venue options, decoration options, dress options, accessory options, invitation options, options, options, options! Thank goodness for my mother who is flying back once a month to help me put some of the pieces in place and check major things off my list!

For now, these are some of the things I have checked off that I'm most excited about:

Bridesmaids! 
I am so blessed to have 6 amazing bridesmaids that will be with me on our big day! These girls have seen me though some of my best and some of my most difficult times. Without a doubt, I would not be who I am today without the love, laughs and support these girls have given me in the last 9 years!

To ask them to share in our day, I pulled an idea (read: stole) from Pinterest and an amazing blog, Rinse Repeat.  My bridesmaids are some of the most important people in the world to me so I wanted them to feel as wonderful as they are! I painted cigar boxes from Michaels in our wedding colors and put some goodies inside each box for each of the girls. Included were: individualized picture albums of me with each of the girls, info about the wedding location, date, etc, and a gift card to put toward their expenses since all but 2 will have to travel! They turned out so darn cute!

The goodies inside!

Wedding Day Info.

Mini Photo Albums

Dresses! 
Once all the girls said yes, we had to find a dress that would make them all feel beautiful! Thankfully Nordstrom came through with this beautiful Jenny Yoo dress.  The best part is that it can be worn in 15 different ways so each girl can choose what style looks best on her- or change the style every hour to have a different look! We chose it in purple, which definitely looks better than the color in the picture!

Flower Girls!
We have two of the cutest flower girls in the world! They are both daughters of Tim's great friends from high school and college and we are so blessed to have them joining us. Although my mother is opposed to them wearing white, I just had to have them in this sweet little dress from My Girl Dress. They will be so pretty- I can't wait to see them all dolled up!

Venue!
We looked at several different places to hold our wedding and finally settled on the golf course that my Dad had deemed one of the most beautiful courses he'd ever played on. That is a big statement for someone who played Pebble Beach and Augusta! So, after seeing the beautiful scenery of The Sanctuary Golf Course for ourselves, we were sold. It also didn't hurt that the backdrop for our ceremony is Pikes Peak- where we got engaged. This venue is a little slice of heaven and really brings the mountains a little closer to home. It's also a huge plus that the staff has been AMAZING to work with this entire time!

I've also checked off my dress (but you can't see it yet), the hotels for everyone to stay at (but that's boring to show), save-the-dates (mailed out!), registry, ceremony and reception music, food tasting, flowers, and invitations! So much more to plan and take care of but hopefully, as we get closer, all the pieces will fall into place. I can't wait for our big day to get here- less than 160 days to go! 

Cleansing away 2012

Last year, I started off 2012 with a bang! I was sick and tired of being sick and tired and I needed a change, in a big way. So, I joined a boot camp that one of my friends had referred me to and ended up changing my eating habits, getting healthy, and losing 20 pounds in 3 months!

Fast forward to the start of 2013...A few too many dinners out with friends, glasses of wine, holiday munchies and cookies from the cookie exchange and those same 20 pounds that I lost have somehow found me again! With our wedding only 156 days to go (yikes!) and my wedding dress sitting lonely in the bridal shop because I know it won't fit yet, I need to cleanse away my bad habits once again and get back on the wagon! It's now or never.

So, I went yesterday and bought the best toy in the world- my Juiceman juicer! Honestly, the most fun $80.00 I've spent...I know, I'm strange. One stop at Whole Foods, an hour later and voila! I have 5 different juices for the next 3 days to complete my juice cleanse.

Why a juice cleanse you may ask? Well, according to Joel Odhner (who is the creator of Catalyst Cleanse juices and works with Dr. Oz):
"When you drink fresh juice it goes into the body and can assimilate much quicker, which in turn gives you more energy and feeds your cells exactly what they need in order to function optimally. At the same time, the juice helps the body eliminate toxins in a very efficient manner. When you flush with juice, you give your digestive system a break—kind of a mini-vacation. I recommend doing three to five days of juicing at a time; it’s a great way to “reset” your whole body, gain mental clarity, increase your energy and maybe (just maybe) lose a little weight."
So there you have it!  A 3 day cleanse will be the jump-start I need for my body to get back into the swing of things!

The basics of the cleanse are this:
Drink 5 different 16 oz servings of freshly-made juice throughout the day
Drink herbal tea (decaf) and lots of water
Drink 1 serving of Almond milk to add some necessary fats to your cleanse. 
Simple!  

So, I made 2 different fruit juices and 3 green juices to drink each day. All of the ingredients were organic and cleaned like crazy before juicing them. I decided to just purchase the Almond Milk rather than making it myself- not as raw because of the preservatives but I like the taste of 365 Brand (Whole Foods) and if I'm drinking it plain for 3 days, I need to like the taste.

The first drink of today was a green juice with the following ingredients:

½ small lemon

cilantro

handful of sprouts

1 cucumber

2 celery stalks

1 green apple

piece of ginger

4 kale leaves

The second was a fruit juice:

2-3 apples

8 carrots

1 inch ginger

This one was my favorite, by far! It was sweet and just like apple juice.  Plus carrots are SO good for you and sweet themselves so it was a good combo.

Then I did another green juice:

apple

kale

collard

lemon

Another fruit juice:

apple

orange

grapefruit

ginger

And the last green juice:

3 celery

1 cucumber

1 pear

1 green apple

handful sprouts

small handful spinach

slice of lemon

2 strawberries (I didn't have any because they're not in season)

Sound odd, I know, but honestly it tasted like cucumbers and was surprisingly refreshing! 

The only worry I had was that I'd be starving all day but the juices are really filling so I haven't been hungry yet! Ready to ring in 2013 and to get rid of those pesky 20 pounds again! Who wants to join me?! 

  

Pain, Pain Go Away!

So, for the last 10 years (at least) I have been living every day with severe jaw pain on both sides of my face. The pain was right under both of my ears and not quite on the jaw, like TMJ would be, but more in the muscles and tendons that connect the upper and lower jaws together. I'd say on a scale of 1-10 the pain is constantly around a 6 until I have the nerve to eat something and then it shoots right up to a 10 as soon as I take that first bite.  10 years of severe pain and not one answer from any of the practitioners that I visited to take care of the problem. Here's just a small snapshot of the journey I took to get an answer:

1) Saw a doctor to check for ear issues- She sent me to a dentist thinking it was TMJ that was causing the problem.
2) Saw my dentist- he made a $700 lower mouth guard for me to wear at night to help my TMJ.  He didn't listen when I told him that my nose doesn't work (a whole different problem!) and I don't clench my teeth at night because I breathe out of my mouth.
3) Maximized Living Chiropractor- thought my messed up neck was causing the problem.  $700 and several adjustments later...still in pain
4) Craniofacial Specialist- Thought I needed a $1100 upper mouth guard to protect my jaw from clenching at night. Again, failed to listen to me when I told him I don't clench my teeth. Also found a cyst in my nose that needed to be fixed which led me to...
5) ENT Doctor- Thought my jaw pain was from my body correcting itself to help me breathe better through my nose that doesn't work. Cyst was no big deal but told me I needed a procedure to scrape the insides of my nose to create more breathing room so I wouldn't try to continue correcting it. OUCH.

So, after all of these appointments I had officially given up and decided that I was going to just deal with the pain and live with it forever. Who needs to eat?!?

Then my mom told me about this practice called Nutrition Response Testing. My grandmother, aunt, and uncle had just completed several months with a NRT doctor and had seen amazing results for their issues using natural treatments and the body's own energy.  In order to find your body's weaknesses, the doctor places one hand on various parts of your body (where your brain, liver, heart, thyroid, etc. are) and uses the other hand to push down on your extended arm while you're laying down. If you can resist against them pushing down on you, then your body is strong in that area; if you can't then it's a weakness that needs to be corrected. (You can read more about this practice here.) Sounds nutso, right?!? I was VERY skeptical but I promised my mom that I would find a doctor that did this testing, and would follow through with the treatment (at least, if she paid for it!) so that I could see if it would work. I figured it would be better than wearing a mouth guard for the rest of my life or having surgery so I gave it a shot. But, because I was lucky enough to inherit my father's stubbornness, I was planning all along to not let that lady push my arm down!

At my appointment, I was tested for all different parts of my body. When she came to my jaw, thyroid, liver, kidneys, bladder, and heart, my arm literally felt like I had lost every muscle in them.  I was trying as hard as I could to resist against her and I just couldn't do it.  She easily pushed my arm to the table as if I weren't pushing back at all! So many weak areas- YIKES! The two areas that were the affected the worst were my jaw and thyroid so she then tested those areas for 5 main stressors- scars, food sensitivities, immune challenges, environmental stressors, metal stressors- to figure out what was causing this weakness. Well, she determined that I have a food sensitivity to gluten, wheat, grains and dairy....something I already knew. But the biggest revelation from the appointment was that my jaw was being weakened by high levels of nickel. I've heard of people having mercury and lead in their systems from dental work but I have perfect teeth and haven't ever needed a filling!  We brainstormed for a bit and then I remembered that after I had my braces removed in high school, the orthodontist had put in a permanent retainer to keep my top teeth in place. It wasn't one of those fancy retainers that come in different colors with glitter on them but was literally just a metal bar that was cemented to my teeth. Detective Alicia was about to get to the bottom of this 10+ year battle with my jaw!

So, in an effort to figure out if the bar was the problem, I contacted my childhood orthodontist and asked him what the bar was made from. He had to send the metal to the lab to get a report and, drum roll please....it was made mainly from nickel! I immediately made an appointment to get the bar removed and started taking a supplement to rid myself of the metal in my body.

My first NRT appointment was on September 8. I can now, just two and a half months later, finally say that my pain in my jaw is GONE completely!!!!!!!!!! The problem with the route I was trying to go was, modern doctors only treat current symptoms but have no idea what's going on inside your body until something pops up on their radar. And, they only treat the symptoms with the tools and the best knowledge that they have at that time, which often depends on their specialty. NRT tells you what parts of your body are struggling and why they are struggling and allows you the opportunity, through proper nutrition and all-natural supplements, to fix the issues BEFORE they blow up into major problems down the road! I had major amounts of nickel, gluten, and dairy building up in my system for years and my liver, bladder and kidneys were working overtime to try to get those toxins out but they weren't able to because I wasn't fixing the problem- just adding to it. Now that I've cleared my body of this heavy metal and been able to focus on eating proper foods, I not only feel better but I've most likely added years to my life because I've stopped forcing my organs to work harder than they need to.

If I hadn't gone through the process, I wouldn't have believed it myself but after 10+ years of pain and a million appointments with different answers and solutions from all of them, this alternative practice actually solved my issue without surgery, medication, or mouth guards! I'm telling you, find a doctor that provides Nutrition Response Testing in your area and RUN to their office to find out what's going on in your body!