Living in and growing up with an active, competitive family has sort of ingrained in me the need to constantly be busy. We used to run from baseball practice to girl scouts, from ice skating lessons to soccer tournaments, from after-school musicals to CCD classes. (if you're catholic, you know all about those!) Bless my mother for all the miles and hours that she spent in the car carting us around. We were busy...that's the way we lived. Sure, we made time for God on Sundays and during dinner prayers (on the rare occasion that we all were able to sit together for a meal), but we didn't have TIME to stop and realize that life was passing us by and we weren't really experiencing it in the way we should.
Being part of a football family also causes you to constantly be looking for what's next. There's no time to focus on the here-and-now and enjoy it. There's always another game, or another connection to be made for another job promotion. There's the next family move to the next city, the next season schedule, the next round of players, the next set of downs if the last one didn't turn out so hot, and who needs tickets to the next game. There's no TIME to just enjoy the current moment with the current team and to realize all the greatness God has brought to our lives. Throughout the years, we ended up forgetting that there were 7 days in every week- we lived for Saturdays when I was young and Sundays when I was older. Every game of the season could determine if we'd remain in our home the following year or be forced to uproot our lives to yet another city. We stopped experiencing all the goodness that fell between the games.
Now that I'm older, I realize that I'm falling into the same pattern. Up until this year, I worked two jobs- one as a full-time teacher, and one as a part-time poms coach. I ran everyday from work to practice and I lived my life focusing on practices, games, competitions, and pep-rallies. I loved every minute of coaching but I had little, if no TIME to just be and to enjoy the ride. I couldn't even enjoy the moment through 2 State championships and top 20 finishes at nationals- I was constantly thinking about the next year, the next dance, the next big move, the next team. Once we received the devastating news last June that my dad wouldn't make it through the year, I chose to give up the hustle-and-bustle of life and left coaching in order to have more TIME. But, true to form, I filled the empty moments with more stuff. I went to dinners, drinks, and happy hour with friends. I bought season tickets to the theatre. I saw movies and went to the gym. A great guy I know that got free tickets to every sporting event in town spent several nights with me at the Pepsi Center. I started a non-profit with my family. I should have realized that I had fallen back into my typical pattern of being constantly busy and looking for the next big thing when I couldn't even focus on a conversation with someone because my mind was going 1,000,000 miles an hour making to-do lists and planning.
The one thing that this snow storm has made me do is stop and just be. God has a funny way of showing us when we are moving too fast, cruising through life without looking at all the good we have, not living in the moment, and forgetting about what's important. He often forces us to be still and to reconnect with ourselves, and HIM. Reflecting on how I've literally run through my life so far has made me realize how important it is to just slow down and enjoy the ride. The great experiences and milestones that will come next in life will come through faith and trust that today HE is preparing me for tomorrow's gifts. Learning to be still means realizing that I don't have to be moving and busy all the time. By taking a deep breath and just taking a second to be, I will learn to find happiness in the moment instead of waiting for it to come later on. And today, on this crazy winter day, without television to entertain me, will be the first day of my life that I make an effort and take TIME to just be.